melissa

 i started a song-a-day blog, for those of you who love music, like i love music, and may want to read it and/or follow it. 

www.culturallyspecific.blogspot.com

i am really excited about this! i have had this blog for a couple of years, but hadn't come up with a good idea on what to do with it until now. the address for the blog was created when i thought i would use it for an anthropological purpose, but that died very quickly once i graduated from college. 

 what do you think it means when someone says "i love you, but i'm not in love with you?" do you think it's legitimate or a cop-out break up excuse?

 as an addendum to my previous post, i would just like to say that people should do and can do whatever they want as far as it comes to marriage and the planning of such events, including gift registries. who am i to judge, really? the fact that the actions of people should frustrate me so much shows how emotionally involved i have become to traditional societal events, when really, i don't even care what other people want to do. do what makes you happy. i gotta keep remembering that. 

in other news, my dad gave me his lg vu, because he went back to using his blackberry (he lost it but apparently he found it again?) anyway, the lg vu is the touch screen phone, and it's pretty damn cool, if i do say so myself. for those of us who cannot afford an iphone, including the monthly bill an lg vu is a nice alternative. one thing bad that i inherited from my dad: the need for cool gadgets. don't know what i would do if my mac every got stolen or died, cause lord knows i can't afford a new one.

one of my really good friends is moving to cairo, egypt next wednesday for a job she took there with a newspaper (business today egypt... or is it business week egypt.... can't remember). anyway a bunch of us got together last night for sushi as a farewell and it was so much fun. i forget how fun it is sometimes just getting together with a bunch of people and laughing and hanging out. plus, i made her a kick ass farewell mix cd, which i think she will enjoy very much. i guess this give me an excuse to travel somewhere really exotic considering i will have a place to stay. 

 currently on day four of working 8, 8-hour days in a row. it would be really great if i could suddenly get some friggen inspiration on something worthwhile to do right now rather than work at starbucks. yes, i am thankful i have a job right now, but i would really love to do something not boring. it's fine, and yes, it can be fun and who doesn't love free coffee and all the pitfalls it brings, but man... i wish i could figure out what i was meant to do. i'm not really worried about finding that one thing i am good at, because i know what i'm good at. i'd just like to have a greater sense of purpose, i suppose. i think this is why people turn to religion. for purpose. or whatever. i'd also like to stop loathing 90% of the people i come into contact with on a daily basis and starbucks customers in issaquah are all crochety bitchy older women. 

in other news, taking up guitar again. i realized i've quit too many things in my life (viola, being one of them) and since i still have a guitar and i can play relatively simple things, i need to turn up the heat and start chipping away again. 

nothing else too exciting happening in my life. i am happy to say that i have made a significant dent in my credit card bill and my monstrous car repair from last august is almost completely paid off. this is exciting because it makes a trip to los angeles to visit carlie in may much more possible. also, considering a move to somewhere warmer... cannot handle anymore rain or snow. yesterday it just slipped my mind to bring a jacket with me and i was walking around in the pouring rain, rooting through my car with all the doors open trying to find my cell phone that had fallen in between the seats. plus, the box that i was carrying my free pizza in (courtesy of pete. it pays to have friends that work in different retail food and beverage establishments) got wet from the car to the front door of my house. 

you all remember bryan adams, right? "everything i do, i do it for you" and other amazing classics such as "cuts like a knife" and "can't stop this thing we started".... right? well, i downloaded the greatest hits the other day and i can't stop listening to it. 80s power ballads and hits really speak to me. 

someone also asked me if i was a member of the nra because of my gun necklace i was wearing at work yesterday. i explain to people that it was made by an artist and they don't get it. people are really stupid.

if you are ever depressed or feel worried or anxious or bad about your life, just watch an episode of intervention, and your mood will just shoot through the friggen roof! no joke.

 i know i kind of have a "grass in greener" kind of attitude, i have always known that about myself. i've grown to just kind of accept it because most of the time i can keep it at bay, but right now i just cannot control it. i am so envious of a lot of different people/things right now, and i want and need a change so bad. i know it has a lot to do with my job and little else... but man oh man, i'm feeling the burn out and the need to run far, far away with the one i love right now. 

I stole this from ohhayitskk 
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watched nick and norah's infinite playlist last night and it was oh.so.cute. go michael cera.

firefly a new obsession???? i would have never guessed it!!! for those not in the know, firefly was a sci-fi western that was on fox many years ago but was cancelled after one season. it's amazing though. really, really good.

enjoying two days in a row off and cooking fish. or watching it be cooked by andy. yum.

 mind numbing cramps caused me to take 7 aleve within a 10 hour period. oi! i hope i don't go into kidney failure tonight while i'm sleeping. 

speaking of periods, my periods have been really bad in the last few months. not the actual period part, but the pms and the cramps, basically the weak and a half leading up to my period, i am weird. my mood swings are such that i don't even recognize some of the feelings i have and i become insanely irrational, like even more  than i usually am. i'll be all about the sex one minute and then the next i don't want andy to even touch me or i freak out and kick him in the knee or knock my head into a wall (this actually happened recently). it's kind of freaking me out. today at work i burned myself with some coffee and normally this would just be kind of annoying because it happens almost every day but today i wanted to throw the cup i was pouring the coffee into against the wall, i was so irate. one of my co-workers is bringing me a book tomorrow about how the food you eat can affect your menstrual cycle. she's a vegan, so naturally this is her attempt at showing me how my meat and dairy based diet is making me miserable. i mean, my hormones have always been off the wall, but i really can't give up cheese and steak. not that i eat it every day, but come on man, steak can't go. it just can't.

last night andy and i went to an open mic at a bar in ballard to see my friend sean play. and now sean wants me to do some songs with him and sing at the next open mic he does. it sounds fun, but people in bars listening to free music can be really obnoxious. not sure i'm willing to offer myself up to the slaughter yet. 

andy got a new job. thank god! after he was laid off from his last job,  i was getting worried, but he's a resourceful feller. 

okay time to watch gilmore girls and go to bed. this is my routine and man, i fucking love it.

 

first the snowpocalypse and now the flooding. wtf man. normal weather, please. it's almost giving me some encouragement to think about moving to a more even tempered climate, as i am really not liking unpredictable weather. but i suppose every area of the earth has some type of unpredictable weather.

the flood waters have receded now (thank god) at my home and we were able to get back in today, but southern counties in washington are just straight up effed... feet and feet of water... water covering freeway overpasses. and the cascades had major, major landslides.

here is a photo essay if you're interested in checking out what's going on. the guy in the kayak is the city i live in, so this is what it was looking like last night and earlier today. www.foxnews.com/photoessay/0,4644,6215,00.html

so, here in snoqualmie (about 30 miles east of seattle for those not in the know), we now have about a foot of snow. we only received a few inches at first when seattle got really dumped on, but we had a huge windstorm that caused a white-out and formed two foot snow drifts, so it looked like a lot more snow than we actually got. BUT NOW we have an actual foot of snow because it won't. stop. snowing. a neighbor of ours has a friend with a bulldozer who came and plowed our cul-de-sac a couple days ago and now the whole thing is just covered once again, on top of the already thick ice that had formed. and my dad's truck had fun in a 90 foot slide on their way home from church.

i can't help but wonder... when will this stop? i've been pretty careful in driving and have been able to get to work, or have someone else get me to work, but yesterday was pretty touch and go. it's pretty, but seriously, it needs to stop now.

oh yeah and merry christmas to everyone! i am very full of merriment, despite my dislike of working retail during the holidays (human kind is crazy, i have a few stories of their crazy-ness i could tell you all... i think "the day the earth stood still" might need to happen right quick). i made a christmas mix for the fam to listen to today, and my friend sean is coming over the enjoy christmas dinner with us, since he is alone for christmas because his family lives in buffalo. andy is in eastern washington with 15 members of his extended family.

my car is stuck haphazardly in front of a tree on a very snowy, very icy hill in north seattle.

so i say bye bye car as i take the bus to work in issaquah and i hope that someone will be able to pick me up from work this evening and that i will be able to get my car soon. but it's not looking good as more snow is supposed to come and the temperature is not rising.


:(

having returned from the canadian north (andy and i went last weekend), i have come home to find my absentee ballot waiting for me! it's kind of exciting. sort of. well, not really, but it is kind of neat how official it all looks.

vancouver was a lot of fun. did a lot of walking, a lot of window shopping, ate yummy foods and stayed in a really nice hotel room! upon arrival, andy's cousin (who got us the deal on the room) had beer, a soft pretzel and nuts sent up to our room, so i drank weak canadian beer while taking a bath. it was pretty amazing.

in other news:
+my new manager at starbucks "left". she definitely did not quit as she was overly jazzed about everything starbucks... however, the actual reason she is gone remains a mystery.
+carlie miller graced me with her presence and we drove to bellingham for a night of thursday fun! thursdays were always the big bar nights when we were in school and we went out to try it once more. our verdict? girls were a lot cuter when we were in school (yeah, we're bitches).
+work is crazy stressful and it's times like these that i wish i wasn't a shift supervisor and that andrew didn't look to me like i was his right hand. i don't want to be his right hand. i don't want to be stressed.
+i had dinner with andy and his grandmother tonight and that was surprisingly delightful! despite her completely off-topic comments on immigration and how "these people" need to be legal or get out. of course, i didn't say anything, i just chewed my food and nodded. there's no sense arguing with old people, especially when they've just been perfectly nice and made you a most delicious dinner.

and with that i say good night! must rise at 3am. shoot me.

i smell like coffee... which is gross, because it's like stale burned coffee. and i am having a birthday dinner tonight for andy with his parents. i still have never figured out how to act natural around my boyfriend's parents. to be fair i've only ever met them once before, but they kind of freak me out, and i'm not really a fan of being around them. the last time i met them we went out to dinner and his mom just talked the whole time and kept telling me i had to go with her to this restaurant that's AN HOUR away. um, thanks, but no thanks lady.

but on the upside, we're going to vancouver this weekend and staying in a sweet hotel that one of his extended family members got us a deal on. stoked!

still obsessed with my new bff. new obsession: lookbook.nu

i am metaphorically hitting myself because this weekend i watched four episodes of the hills back to back ondemand. it's sick and wrong, but god, i love it so much. why can't that be my life? minus the bitchy, over-dramatic girls and really stupid guys (seriously the guys these girls hang out with are such douchebags)... but the job and the clothes and the going out and the lunching. it's my dream. and paris hilton's my new bff is not making things any easier in the television department. i just love it. i can't fucking help myself.

and on the same note as tinyvictories, i think i would also make a damn fine personal assistant. and i wouldn't mind the bitch work. as long as my boss was nice to me.

in other news, the andy and i are going to vancouver, bc this weekend for his birthday! we're staying in a hotel (albeit a cheap one) and all that jazz! color me excited!

i constantly and continually have to remind myself that flaky people are not a result of me as a person! it's called this new thing i'm doing... called "not giving a fuck". i put it in quotations because i, for sure, did not coin this expression.

it's ridiculous that i take so much personal offense and responsibility for other people's actions. i've had a couple of new friendships that i've made in the last year due to work, and some old friendships that are feeling the strain of distance, and despite my best efforts to keep in touch with these people and show them that i like them and want to be around them, all i get is BIG FAT FLAKES. and it's frustrating. and then my insecure side tells me that there must be something about me that is making these people never want to hang out with me. that could be part of it. but mostly i am just resigning myself to the fact that people are flakes. and that could be due to a lot of different things. they could be really busy, dealing with emotional stress, life, etc... but then again, i'm dealing with all of these things as well. for christ's sake, i cried at work yesterday. and yet, somehow i manage to keep in touch with people.

i'm not one of those people that looks at life with magic and wonder. i used to. when i had a lot less to worry about. when i had more time to walk around time, when i didn't work full time, when school was a right and not a privilege to me. i'm sorry i worry, but it's just how i am. luckily, i am not jaded about love. not in the slightest. which is a good thing. but the little things in life don't excite me like they used to. fall used to fill me with such glee, and now it's just like, eh, it's fall. which, i suppose in a way is sad, but at the same time there is so much shit going on! who has time to look outside and frolic in the fall weather when the world is collapsing around us???? (i know, dramatic much?)

despite all the worry and my over-dramatic posts, it's birthday season! amanda's birthday was yesterday and her swanky par-tay is tonight. then at midnight it will be my birthday and the swanky par-tay will turn into my swanky par-tay! then saturday is birthday whatever for me, i still haven't figured it out yet. i know it includes a breakfast made by andy for me, and perhaps some birthday drinkies, but who knows if anyone is going to even come or be up for it, because of the crazy night that was had before. i want to go shopping, alas, i have no funds. and then sunday is mom's birthday and a big dinner to-boot! and the italians are coming also. we'll be having Osso Buco (veal shanks!). veal shanks are probably not the best thing to be purchasing with rising food costs because they were 13.99 a pound and my parents ended up shelling out 100 bones for this birthday dinner. i suppose it's good to splurge every now and again.

this post has been a whole lot of rambling. but i figure my rambling is just as good as anyone else's rambling.

time to plan par-tay outfit before i go to work! (i'm not sure why i keep spelling party like that)

urrgggg. i can feel myself getting upset and frustrated. what is it about me that screams... walk all over me and have a general dislike for me??? i don't understand how things go to be this way at all. it's throwing me for a loop though.

i smell... italian sausage cooking in a frying pan in the kitchen.
i taste... my delicious coffee that andy went with me to get this morning because he knows i am addicted.
i see... blue skies and an absolutely beautiful day outside.
i feel... utter bliss.

i am a lovesick fool. please forgive me. but i have a boyfriend who knows my coffee addiction, cooks me breakfast and listens to tiger army with me.

i'm tired. i have laundry and other organizational tasks to get done. and sleep is seeming so much more delightful.
i have to wake up at 3am tomorrow to open the store at work.
i officially hate my job.
which somehow translates to an extremely over dramatic "i hate my life", even though i really don't.
i am just sick of the job. sick to death of it. i need to do something interesting before i become really stupid and boring.

in other words, i'm considering (meaning i've been tossing ideas back and forth in my head) going back to school to bring more focus to my degree.

blah.

end rant.

today is one of those days to put in the "forget about this day" vault. just tiring and annoying. stressful. urrggh.

thank god for five days off. seriously. cashing in some vacation time.

sister, brother and brother-in-law are here! woohoo!